Kids say the darndest things (when they think Mom’s not listening)

I was going through some old files the other day, and came across a scrap of paper on which I’d scribbled notes of things I heard the kids saying when they thought I wasn’t listening. I won’t tell you who said what, but have noted their ages. This was clearly during a time when everyone was discovering the amazing things their bodies could do.


  • “Can you show me how to make my bed? You do SUCH a better job than I could ever do.”  5 year old to sibling.
  • “Listen to this sound!” Child, buckled in booster seat, leans  left, lifts right knee, thigh, buttock, and noisily lets loose a cloud of gas. Child giggles hysterically at wonderful new trick. Age 2.
  • (5 year old to sibling) “Do you still pick your nose and eat the boogers?”
  • Sound from the next room: Crash!  Next sound, three-year-old’s voice, talking to sibling: “We better clean that up before Mom sees.”
  • “Hey!  Come back here and wipe your butt!”  6 year old to sibling.
  • After a noisy release of gas, child, from car seat:  “Wow that really smells!  Smell me everyone!  Smell my butt!”  Age 2.
  • “There are little trees in my nose that grow boogers.”  6 year old.

One thought on “Kids say the darndest things (when they think Mom’s not listening)

  1. Aren’t kids just so honest. I heard similiar comments from you and your sibs so it’s no surprise that your kids are acting like kids.

    It must be the school bus chatter that they hear or perhaps it’s what they hear in the schools.

    Just laugh along. It’s good for you.

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