Not real, but real sad

I really hate to jump on the gossip bandwagon, but I am just so sad about the crumbling of Jon and Kate.

I got into the reality show (“Jon and Kate Plus 8”) a few years ago.  How could I not?  At the time I had four kids under five years old, and was always on the lookout for someone to validate my insecurities, fears, failures, and faux pas.  I eagerly watched to see if Kate struggled much more than I did (perhaps she did, but I couldn’t tell), felt the guilt I did (she managed to feed her kids organic food and get them to church every Sunday, so I guess she did not).  It didn’t take me too long to grow cynical about this family  — I mean, if I had three nannies I could do just about anything, not to mention an extra $75K a week, plus free vacations and product-placement supplies.  The perks of a TLC celebrity.

But at what cost?  Any regular viewer has his or her opinion of the relationship, but no one can deny the obvious crumbling of the marriage.  I wonder, where were the friends?  The family?  The producer?  Heck, even the craft service rep might have suggested counseling of some kind long before this happened.

But I guess strife is good TV.  Repairing a marriage is not.  Certainly not good for the bottom line.

Does TLC have the license for the future “when they were child stars” profiles of the Gosselin 8?  I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.   Ante up, gossip mongers.

I’d say that I’m not one to judge someone else’s marriage, but I guess I am, particularly if you broadcast it around the world.  Jon, Kate, you failed.  Each other, yes, but those kids.

Tonight, on the “special episode” in which the pair revealed that not only are they separating, but that divorce proceedings are underway, both Jon and Kate reiterated again and again that evreything they did was for the benefit of the kids.

What a load of hooey.  With that much help, money, and encouragement, much more should have been spent on the marriage, the relationship that created the kids in the first place.  Maybe Kate’s gym time could’ve been sacrificed?  Jon’s snowboarding?

I’m sure the kids would’ve understood about a regular Saturday night date instead of a shared custody.

Ray and I work at our relationship, sometimes more than at other times.  I can’t imagine the drain that 8 kids puts on a marriage — I know what 4 kids demand.  But I’ve learned, with no cameras or paychecks, that sometimes what’s best for the kids is that the parents put their relationship first.

I guess TLC’s most famous couple never figured that out.  Let that be a sad lesson for the rest of us who live in the real, not the reality, world.

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2 thoughts on “Not real, but real sad

  1. Ah for those days of Ozzie & Harriett. Now that’s what reality shows are really like.

    Marriage is hard enough when no one else is looking in. How in the world could Jon & Kate surive living in the spot life.

    Relationships take time and nurturing. Compromize and sharing. Most of us are so self centered that its a wonder any marriage surivies.

    So you be sure to get your Saturday night dates lined up. You never know when your family will be on T.V.

  2. wow, you said it so well! i have never watched the show but of course i did the night of the “big” announcement. i whole heartedly agree with everything you said. as far as i am concerned, shame on TLC for continuing to air a show that was putting a crumbling family on display. certainly not The “Learning” Channel if you ask me. All that the majority of watchers have learned is its apparently ok to give up on marriage without any counseling, despite the fact that there are 8 kids involved, more than enough money & all of the world watching. my heart breaks for these kids who are going to watch these episodes in their adult years & despise their parents for their behavior. but hopefully they will have a better support network to encourage them to get help to reconcile their messed up childhood.

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