There are times….

when your world shifts and realigns to some perspective  you never considered before….

when you have no answers to the questions posed by young minds in search of certainty…

when you can’t remember that you are the adult and not the child spinning in the fuzzy yellow chair, not the child coasting the waves  spawned from the speeding motorboats, not the child recording an interview on real audio tape, not the child who gives over the joystick for the Atari game to an adult way too old to understand but who is way too adoring of the young folk to care, you are not the child who wraps herself in nine million memories of holidays and celebrations and minutae (Sea Breeze, cotton balls, morning shakes, and bumper pool are a few)…

when you embrace that you are that child and force yourself to reconcile an end, a goodbye, a see you again someday….

when you struggle to explain it all to your kids who are too young themselves to fully understand….

when some self-medication is not out of the question….

when you are paralyzed and grateful for the others who see to what needs to be seen to….

when you realize that it’s time to shit or get off the pot.  Seriously.  When were you going to start?  That Florida vacation, the Carnegie Hall concert, the wedding, it was just yesterday!  Go, go!

There are times you can be so grateful, in every molecule, that you were given to La Famiglia, and not elsewhere, where anything is possible, anything is embraced, and no matter what you do you can get a full-body hug from Grandma and Grandpa who knew before anyone else how beautiful and talented and important you are.

We need to remember.  It’s who we are, who she was.  He was.  They all were.  We continue to be.

There are times we need to be reminded to remember.

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2 thoughts on “There are times….

  1. You’ve said it all. Look in your heart and believe they are watching you and helping you fullfill your dreams. Look at your Mitzi, Ellie & Joanne and see Grandma. Look at Cooper and you will see Grandpa.

    Remembering is easy because we all have so many memories that are just as real today as they were when they happened. All we need to do to remember is to take 5 minutes and sit quietly and a 1,000 memories will rush over us like waves hitting the beach.

    Remember that we are a Family that hangs together in good times and in bad times. We are all there to support each other in this very sad time.

    But Grandma is at peace and with Grandpa. Just what she wanted.

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