So, on this gorgeous August day, bright sunshine, low humidity, the first in a very long time, what do my kids decide they want to do? Stay INSIDE and make a castle out of packing boxes they know I’ve squirreled away in the basement. They are determined, probably because….
on Saturday, moments before we were expecting a bunch of friends and their children to arrive for a long-overdue barbecue, someone stabbed our blow-up pool to death. Poor thing, never saw it coming. Investigation continues, but it’s likely to be ruled an accidental aquaticslaughter. Evidence: calls for help revealed suspect with hands pressed over hole, desperately trying to prevent the life-giving air from leaking. Bandages were applied, to no avail. Slowly the pool succumbed to its injuries, leaving countless bathing-suit clad children to clutch their towels and wail. Fortunately, the mourners rebounded and amused themselves in the sprinkler, as well as with the hose, sand, and a jug of bubble soap.
The suspect confessed, weeping. A beach umbrella was the weapon. No motive.
The pool was buried at the local transfer station in a solemn ceremony. In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to the New Blowup Pool Scholarship Fund, which hopes to raise enough money to erect a new pool in the deceased’s memory.